Fat Rant

I've gained a lot of weight since 2019, and over the past year have quietly talked down to myself, compared myself to social media standards, under eat, over eat, work out to a point of hurting myself, only to binge on chocolate a few days later.  
But I woke up this morning and realized I lived through a great deal of traumatic things. Today, I no longer blame myself for being human. For being impacted by so many sudden and stressful events. I can fall and make mistakes. I can be a human. 😂 I'm not meant to be perfect or look perfect all the time. And I don't want to.  
 I survived a pandemic, loss, mental breakdowns and all kinds of shit...gaining weight from it should be the least of my concerns. Beauty standards suck...they always have. But f*ck em. I'm eating ice cream today because I deserve it.  
Earth is hard as it is man...and again, I'm just happy I made it through hell and came out alive.